I tried, I really tried. I WAS SPLIT when I decided to be a stay-at-home mom and leave the teaching world. I, for the most part, loved my job. There were some things that I could have gone away with, but I loved teaching! I loved coaching! I loved training! But I loved something even more: being at home with my baby and being a mother. It came with a lot more responsibility, stress, emotions, hormones, guilt, excitement, joy, gratitude, jealousy... the list goes on.
I felt like I was losing myself, I was struggling to find happiness even though I was extremely happy.... but not quite. Moms do you feel me?? So I started diving deep and what kept coming up for me was teaching. I started tutoring and then I stopped and thought no... I'm not teaching anymore. But then I started tutoring again. It was in the midst of that when I realized, why not? Why can't I continue to teach at home and also raise my baby? Wait, even better, why can't I merge the two? I started small and then more and more of my vision started appearing. A vision I didn't fully grasp yet, but I knew there was something there. I'm still unfolding.
When you say NO to the thing that keeps nudging you, you are suppressing a part of you. You are telling yourself that you don't deserve this idea, this thought, or this dream. I was hindering my creative abilities when I pushed away the thing I love most about what I do. Teaching. Learning. Sharing that with the world. When I realized that, I was able to step into a new reality.
To be quite honest, I am not sure where I am headed, but I know that I love sharing my ideas with even the few that watch or listen right now. I fully believe it will grow, but for now, I am finding joy in this creation, in saying yes to my nudge, and in doing what makes me happy. What is your nudge? What keeps coming around and saying, "Hello!" Is it worth it to just say yes?
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